Windows To The Soul
by 101olive4u
Summary: Fili had always heard his mother say that eyes were windows to the soul. A collection of snapshots of Fili, Kili and Dis through the years. Dedicated to Mother's Day


**Hey guys, Olive here! I'm very VERY sorry for the delays in all of my updates. But I promise that my stories will be updated as soon as I can! This was a oneshot I started a long time ago, yet I never finished it. And here I am on mother's day, revising, finishing, and publishing it. Just a fluffy little ficlet that I think is very appropriate for this certain holiday.**

 **To my mother, your mother, and any mother out there!**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

Fili had always heard his mother say that eyes were windows to the soul. When he would ask her what that meant, she would merely chuckle and ruffle his hair. " _You will know in time,_ _amrâl_ _._ " Then she would send him off with a gentle push. The young dwarf left in confusion, before his innocent mind was wiped clean of his puzzlement and he skipped down the path to find his friends. Dis watched him go, leaning against the doorframe. The cold wind nipped at her nose and cheeks, pulling tendrils of soft hair from her braids. She sighed in wistful heartache as she gazed at the shining blonde head bobbing in the distance. She could only hope that his chastity would last for as long as it could.

"Amad?" Dis jumped as she felt a little hand tug at her skirt. Turning around, she saw Kili looking up at her with warm brown eyes.

"Yes Kili?" She asked, picking him up on her hip.

"I drew you a picture," he said shyly, pointing towards the kitchen.

She smiled. "Let's go take a look at it, shall we?" She hid a laugh as his eyes lit up. As they entered, she couldn't help but look back over her shoulder. The blonde locks had disappeared. Her Fili was growing up, and there was nothing she could do.

* * *

"But Amad!" Kili cried as he wiggled in his mother's grip. "I don't want to take a bath!"

"Kili," Dis groaned as she grabbed one of his dirty flailing fists. "You must get clean!"

"But I don't want to!"

"You're covered in dirt!"

"That was Fili's fault! He said rolling around in the mud would grant me luck!"

Dis would have to have a talk with her eldest son. "Kili, get in the bath."

"No!"

Two violent minutes later, a grumpy Kili found himself sitting in the wooden bathtub piled high with bubbles.

"Amad, please don't wash my dirt off!"

Dis stopped her scrubbing. "Why ever not, Kili?"

Kili looked up at her with big eyes. "Mr Dwalin says that he hasn't bathed in years. I want to be just like Mr Dwalin!" He said the last part with a sort of proud smugness.

Dis frowned. "Mr Dwalin told you this, did he?" She would have to have a talk with him too.

"Yes. And Mr Dwalin knows everything!"

"Kili, are you sure you want to be just like Mr Dwalin and not bathe?"

"Yes Amad!" Kili puffed his chest out.

Dis smiled slyly. "Didn't Mr Dwalin tell you that that was how he lost all of his hair?"

There was a pause before Kili turned his back to her. "You know, I guess it's alright if you clean me off, Amad."

So Dis continued her scrubbing.

* * *

"Amad, I don't feel very good," Dis was shaken awake by the feeble voice. Her eyes flew open. She lit the candle on the table to see Fili kneeling next to her bed.

"What's the matter, Fili?" She asked, exhaustion lacing her voice as she sat up. She laid a tender hand on his forehead, surprised at the heat radiating off of her son's soft skin.

"My stomach feels funny and my head is fuzzy," he said uncertainly, looking down at his feet in embarrassment. He had gained a selfless nature over the years of hating to ask for things.

Dis smiled knowingly. She patted the seat on the bed next to her. Fili's eyes lit up and he scrambled onto the bed. Dis reached over to the nightstand and opened one of the wooden drawers, pulling an old battered book out.

"Pick your favorite," she said, referring to the stories in the old book. Her son took the book and leafed through the worn pages. Looking admiringly at him, Dis left the room and entered the kitchen. Filling the kettle, she began making the tea used for sickness. It wasn't uncommon for Fili to get sick, but recently he hadn't been telling Dis. Several times he had been sent home from Balin's lessons or training.

Dis entered her room, steaming cup of tea in one hand. Fili graciously took the mug and exchanged it for the book held opened to a certain page.

Dis smiled as she saw the story. "Ah, one of my favorites." As she began to read, she couldn't help but notice the smile gracing her son's features in the dim candlelight.

* * *

"But why can't I go?" Kili wailed as he and Dis stood in the yard, waving to Fili as he and Thorin left for their hunting trip.

Dis turned away to look down at Kili as she led him into the house. "Kili, we've been over this. You'll get your turn when you're Fili's age."

"But Amad!" Kili pouted. "Nadad is only five years older than me!"

"So that means in only five years you will get to go!" Dis grabbed her basket from the wooden table and her leather coin purse. "Come now."

"Where are we going?" Kili frowned.

"To the market," his mother replied as she ushered him out the door.

"But Amad!" He cried, waving his arms.

"No buts, Kili," Dis said firmly as she escorted him out the gate and closed it.

"Can't I stay home?" He asked hopefully.

"No, Kili. I need your help today."

Kili sulked the whole way to town. He refused to hold Dis's hand, claiming he was "just as grown up as Fee." He strutted ahead of her with his chest stuck out.

When they had reached the town's market, Dis finally turned to Kili. "Alright, how about you and I make a special dinner just for us? You can choose what we make."

Kili's eyes lit up happily. "Do you really mean it?" Dis laughed as she nodded.

"Let's go then!" He cried, but not before taking her hand and swinging on it.

* * *

Dis stared in amazement at her two boys. They were growing up faster than she could keep up with. One minute she was holding baby Kili and playing with toddler Fili...and then she blinked.

Fili had become the splitting image of his father. Waves of golden hair, a feature so strange for a dwarf, and stormy steel blue eyes. Having turned 62 just months ago, he had developed a new independence from his family while still staying completely devoted to them. Extremely talented with the twin swords, he made an excellent fighter. But at the same time he secretly enjoyed reading, something known only to Dis and Kili. While he still had his mischief, Fili tended to be more responsible. He was much more sensitive than dwarves his age, but always hid his emotions well. Even if he had sorrow, Fili kept smiling, and stayed the sunshine in Dis's life.

If Fili was the sun, then Kili was surely the moon. At the age of 57 he still kept his carefree and light attitude. While his brother kept his hair in neat braids, Kili's wild mane was all over the place, shorter pieces always falling into his eyes. Kili was an easily distracted one. When Dis would ask him to go get some firewood, he would disappear for twenty minutes and then come back with twigs and leaves in his hair. When she'd ask him what had taken so long, he'd merely reply that he had seen something moving in the woods and followed it. Kili had always reminded his mother of a wild horse, hard to tame but loved all the same.

And Dis couldn't be prouder of her two sons.

* * *

"Do you think that Uncle will be disappointed, Amad?" Kili asked hesitantly.

"Disappointed about what, Kili?"

"That I wish to use a bow more than a sword or axe."

Dis stopped her mending, fingers frozen in place. She had known sooner or later that Kili would have to tell Thorin about his choice of weapon. Her brother disapproved of anything related to elves, so having a nephew shooting arrows was out of the question. Fili had helped Kili set up a makeshift target behind the house where he could expertly fire shot after shot, each one hitting the target. Kili was perfectly capable of using a sword, but he claimed that the bow was "meant for him".

She continued sewing. "Well I think he'll definitely be surprised."

Kili hung his head.

"Have you planned on telling him yet?"

"Yes…" Kili paused. "But I just can't! He'll be so angry with me!"

Dis stood up and put a hand on her son's shoulder. "Kili, look at me." His ebony eyes met her's. "Even if he is upset, he will get over it. If he can't accept you using a bow, then he won't ever be able to accept anything again. And won't it feel better to have this secret let out?"

"Yes," Kili sighed. He straightened his posture. "I'm going to go tell him now!" He said confidently, leaving the room. He came back one second later and pecked Dis on the cheek. "Thanks Amad."

"You're welcome, my son," she whispered to his retreating back.

* * *

"I remember this book," Fili said softly. Dis turned around to find him looking down at the falling-apart book. He gently traced his fingers across the golden stamped lettering.

"I used to read it to you and Kili every night," she smiled. "And whenever you were sick."

He looked at her with crystal clear eyes shining. "I remember that."

She gently took the book from his hands and flicked through the delicate pages until she found the one she was looking for and handed it back to him. "This used to be your favorite story."

"It was your favorite too." He paused and looked at her cautiously. "Amad, where did this book come from?"

She stiffened. "It came from your father's side of the family. He was the one that always read to you until-"

"Until he died," Fili whispered. He quickly closed the book with a snap and set it on a nearby table.

Dis stood still as a statue, her skirt knotted into her hands.

"You miss him, don't you?" Fili said softly.

A tear trickled down her face, then another, then another until silent tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Fili stepped up next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "I miss him too."

* * *

Fili had caught the eye of a pretty dwarf lass. Quickly bidding his family goodbye, he wove his way through the crowd of people to catch up with her.

Dis shook her head fondly. Since he was young, Fili had been noticed by girls. There had always seemed to be some lass staring dreamily as they passed by. He had finally come to an age years ago where he liked girls the same way they liked him. And now at the age of 78 he had become the local heartthrob.

Kili scowled at his mother's side and muttered something about Fili getting all the girls.

"Is there any lass you have an eye on, Kili?" She asked slyly, handing money to the bread vendor.

Kili blushed scarlet. "Maybe."

"And who is she?"

Kili went even redder. He mumbled a name so softly Dis couldn't hear. She decided not to push it.

"Have you talked to her?" Dis motioned for Kili to walk beside her.

"A few times, yes." Kili kicked a stone. He kept his head bowed.

Dis, a knowing look on her face, stopped her pestering and the two proceeded to walk in silence to the next vendor. The sound of tinkling laughter punctured the quiet. A group of dwarf lasses stood a few stands down. Dis watched as Kili stared at one with dark blonde hair and meadow green eyes, blushing.

"What's her name?" Kili looked at his mother.

"Her name is Gilda," he replied, blushingly.

"Well," Dis gave him a push, "I think you should go talk to her. Go on, now. I'll finish up the shopping."

"Thank you Amad," Kili said graciously as he left his mother's side.

Dis smiled serenely and turned to finish her shopping. After she had given the money to the merchant, she could see Kili approaching the girl, a flower clutched behind his back. Dis smiled wider. She had taught him well.

* * *

"Now you'll be sure to watch over Kili now, won't you?" Dis asked meekly as she smoothed the fur of Fili's coat down with her hands. "And you've got enough food, haven't you? What about your extra knives? You always need some of those! And haven't-"

"Amad, we're fine. Really," Fili said gently, enclosing his mother's hands with his own.

"And you're sure you're ready for this Fili?" Her voice was soft, on the verge of tears.

"We've been ready for this our whole lives," he said confidently. "We'll be waiting at Erebor for your arrival."

She patted his cheek lovingly before turning to Kili. Fili took that time to readjust his pack and swords. His pockets were stuffed with all of the things his mother wanted him to take.

"Ready to go, Fee?" He turned to see Kili calling him from the gate.

"Ready as I'll ever be, Kee. Let's go." Kili grinned as he opened the gate and began his way down the path. As Fili made to follow, a hand caught his sleeve.

"Take care of yourself, Fili." She said, trying to hide her upset tone.

"I'll take care of Kili too," he assured her.

"But don't forget about yourself." She looked up at him with watering brown eyes. "I know in times like these you choose to watch over Kili but forget about looking after yourself as well."

"I won't forget to remember myself," he promised. As he looked into her eyes, he could understand what she felt. Her two only sons were leaving, along with her brother. She would be alone for months, spending time worrying about them. He could see the love she held for them, and he could feel it too. Fili put a hand on her shoulder.

"Take care of _yourself,_ Amad." He said genuinely. He turned around and began to walk, joining his brother

"You know Kili," Fili said thoughtfully as they began their hike. "I think I finally know what Amad means when she says eyes are windows to the soul."

Dis held back her tears as her sons waved her their last goodbye.

* * *

 **I don't know very much about Dwarvish culture, but I did try!**

 **Leave a review if you have the time, thanks!**

 **Happy mothers day to everyone! Do me a favor and tell your mother that you love her.**

 **Ta,**

 **Olive**


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